HIHEZL : Chapter 58. Side Story 2: How Do I Fall in Love?

Author: Angelina

Translator: Let4, Renkun27

Proofreader: lonelycauliflower

Ke Bu sat cross-legged on a stool with one hand on his chin while the other clicked away on the mouse at an incredible speed. The computer music was filled with a pleasant melody. Sunlight came in through the window and reflected on the computer screen. Zhi Li’s colorful brushes were inside the penholder on the table. As he appeared invigorated on the outside, Ke Bu swayed gently his head along with the music.

What exactly is it to fall in love? What’s necessary to fall in love?

There were different opinions on the internet. Ke Bu read an article, then turned, and asked the adjacent Zhi Li, who was seated on a stool with his legs crossed and was drawing with his back against the light, “Hey, Zhi Li…”

Engrossed with drawing, Zhi Li did not seem to hear Ke Bu’s call. Ke Bu breathed in with dissatisfaction, put down his leg and stood up. He walked toward Zhi Li’s back, blocking the light source and covering the sketchbook with his shadow. Ke Bu pounced on Zhi Li’s back from behind, pressing his weight forward, then he braced his arms around Zhi Li’s neck. “Hey, Zhi Li.”

“What’s up?” Zhi Li’s tone was very light. Just like the current season, it was akin to the spring breeze that caressed his face. Zhi Li placed his hand on the back of the hand which was around his neck and slightly looked sideways. His lips almost touched Ke Bu’s cheek. It was very itchy, yet very comfortable.

“Let’s exchange diaries.”

“Why the heck are you writing that crap?”

“I heard it’s pretty useful.”

“When did you develop such girly feelings?”

“Stop saying useless things. Just tell me yes or no. Don’t make me waste my spit.” Ke Bu revealed his true self.

“There’s an exchange condition.” The picturesque scene earlier which was like a dream was a mere illusion. This was the true nature of their relationship.

“You’re extorting me. This isn’t only for my sake. What exchange condition. It was so difficult to even fulfill one last time. You wanna rip me off.”

“Then forget it.”

“Fine, let’s see who’s gonna be bothered.” Ke Bu loosened his hands around Zhi Li, and pressed down harder. He reached for Zhi Li’s pen and took aim at the sketch book, threatening that seemingly abstract-looking drawing. “If you won’t agree, I’ll scribble on it.”

“Go ahead.”

Ke Bu also felt that his threat was not strong enough. Even if he was to doodle on Zhi Li’s drawing, it would not make much difference. The things he drew were all unidentifiable objects. There were even times when Ke Bu could not grasp why someone who was as wise as Zhi Li could not improve even after drawing for such a long time. Was he really an incompetent artist or did he only prefer to draw this way? What does Zhi Li think about when he draws? He certainly had not understood Zhi Li well enough. That unfathomable heart of his was impossible to control which made Ke Bu more determined to carry out this diary exchange operation. He stood up from Zhi Li’s back, grabbed his hand, and spoke haughtily, “What’s the exchange condition?”

“Just owe me first.”

“I knew it. Until when are you gonna keep these things accumulated?”


“But the diary has to be self-written. There’s a high possibility that you’ll let someone else write it, especially Youyan.”

“I’m not that kind of person.”

“You’re exactly that kind of person! You can even lie without blinking!” Ke Bu asserted.

After the terms were settled, Ke Bu produced a scratchpad from some unknown garbage heap. There were even ugly sketches on the cover. He picked up a pen and like dragons flying and phoenixes dancing, he wrote the two big words: Diary Exchange! He affixed his name and Zhi Li’s next to it. Ke Bu only focused on implementing this idea, regardless of its quality.

Ke Bu’s Diary: X Year, X Month, X Day, Fine Weather

Today’s the first day of the diary exchange. I woke up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast, and then started to write on the way to class. What should I write about? It seems that I’ve never written a diary before, so I don’t know how to write a diary which I want a certain someone to read. Is it possible that you’re thinking that I’ll write down my heartfelt feelings for you and fill the whole entry with sweet nothings which could make you blush and your heart beat fast? Stop dreaming. Today, the tentative beginning ends here. See you again later.

Zhi Li’s Diary: ……………..

It was raining. The raindrops pitter-pattered on the window, the sky was gray, and my mood was affected as well. I stood up from the desk to open the window, took a deep breath, and looked at Ke Bu. Yesterday, when I read Ke Bu’s diary, there was a subtle touch in my heart. I felt that we have grown closer to each other’s hearts. I looked at Ke Bu from the corners of my eyes. Last night, he didn’t call me. I waited for Ke Bu’s call like a sick person. It suddenly dawned on me that love is such a powerful and irresistible thing.

Ke Bu flipped through the diary. It was Zhi Li’s handwriting. He bit his lower lip. Really, this guy, he wrote such embarrassing words in it. In contrast, was Ke Bu and his diary too insincere?

Ke Bu’s Diary: X Year, X Month, X Day, Fine Weather

You’re talking sheer nonsense about waiting for my call. Waiting for my call is just too strange. Nobody said that I’ll definitely call you. It’s fine if you stipulate that now. Although I’ve never waited so much for a call like a sick person, I can’t imagine your feelings when you were waiting for my call, but since I wasn’t able to call you, couldn’t you have at least given me a call? Alright, enough with the nonsense. As usual, nothing happened today. I was with you, I spent time with them, and talked as usual during the day, as if nothing happened. In the evening, I hid under the blanket and read your diary. These feelings couldn’t be written and couldn’t be said.

Zhi Li’s Diary: ……………..

I was with Ke Bu today. I watched him act all cute, smart, intelligent, and mischievous. What I like isn’t just any of those, it’s all of these. These characteristics of his make me feel happy. Happiness! Yes, that’s right. It’s this word and it could only be this word. I fear that this will slip through from my fingers someday. I’m afraid, afraid that that day would come and this deep fear would torment me. I console myself by saying: Don’t be silly. There’s nothing wrong with loving each other. We’re not wrong. That’s right! Be brave. Didn’t he entrust his sustenance on you? How could you back out now? Together, we have to be together. We’ll hold each other’s hands until the end of time, even if the seas run dry and the rocks crumble.

Gradually, Ke Bu felt that something was amiss. More than ten days later, he had lost his initial enthusiasm when he flipped through the diary again. Everyday, he only wrote about his day-to-day activities. He was too lazy to write about his account, but was very keen to hide under his blanket to read Zhi Li’s diary every night. He felt a tad bit of guilt toward Zhi Li regarding his laziness. He was clearly the one who proposed this.

Ke Bu’s Diary: X Year, X Month, X Day, Fine Weather

I didn’t think we’d last this long. Honestly, with your personality, I thought that you would get tired of this soon. It’s not an easy task to wrack your brain over what to write everyday. Moreover, I absolutely kept no secrets from you. I’ve always been apparent in your eyes. Whatever I’m willing to say, you’d understand; whatever I’m reluctant to say, you’d be able to guess it. What kind of mood do you have when you read and reply to my diary everyday?

Zhi Li’s Diary: ……………..

What kind of mood do I have when I read and reply to his diary everyday? He asked me this question, yet I struggled not knowing how I should reply. Not that I’m unwilling, it’s just that I couldn’t answer it. This embarrassing feeling rummaged through and terrorized my heart. I only know that if someone wants to kill him, I’ll be willing to die with him. I couldn’t endure the loneliness without him. I couldn’t endure it. Once I thought of this, my chest burned like a flame, scorching me so painfully. It’s him who lit the fire in my heart. One day, I’m going to take him to a tall building and tell him: “Look, the outside world is so vast that we look so small. Therefore, we should cherish this together bit by bit, even for a minute or a second.” I’ll hug him from the back and tell him: “I love you, Ke Bu.”

When he finished reading this, Ke Bu’s accumulated doubts finally substantiated. On the day which was Zhi Li’s turn to write, after the evening self-study class had ended, Zhi Li left first and Ke Bu quietly followed behind. He discovered that Zhi Li entered Su Youyan’s classroom. Ke Bu crouched outside the window and peeked. Su Youyan shut the book in her hand. “You have to write again today?”


At this time, Su Youyan pulled out a thick book from her drawer. The book’s title was the several large words “Qiong Yao’s [1] Novel Collection.” She opened the book and read it out loud and that Zhi Li, that bastard Zhi Li was writing down thoughtlessly what Su Youyan was reading. Ke Bu’s little face puffed up as he rushed in. “I say, so that’s how it is!! What the hell is this!! You’re too much. I’m angry now.” Ke Bu grabbed the book, threw it on the ground, and stepped hard on it twice. He then snatched the diary and left.

([1] A Taiwanese writer.)

Su Youyan looked at Ke Bu leaving. “He’s not angry.”

Zhi Li looked at Ke Bu leaving. “He’s not angry.”

At night, Ke Bu hid under the blanket once again and flipped through the diary. Looking at Zhi Li’s beautiful handwriting, he squinted and laughed.

What understanding. He had known from the start that this was useless when it came to Zhi Li. There was no need to understand him. That unfathomable heart of his was also a part that Ke Bu likes. What he could understand, he likes; what he could not understand, doubtlessly he would still like.

Because he was His Excellency Zhi Li.

At the least, Ke Bu hugged the diary. At least, Zhi Li was willing to do this for him.



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